VII

i’ve always been a believer of listening to good music when life feels fucked. turning it up so loud that thought gets swallowed and avoidance seeps in. i was in the moment, i had let every beat come and go and dance over me
from the exact moment i met you till the last
watching out for the backbeat and the bass riff
until they made it and slowly faded away into nothingness

and after that song ended i felt lost.

Nietzsche once said that you know a moment is important when it is making your mind go numb with beauty
and it’s when nearest to you i felt my most alive, a precious feeling i wouldn’t have traded away for anything
adventures at daybreak, running through April flowers with our hands intertwined in the clouds,
empty bottles of red wine because we finished them and lucky number 7 tattoos that would wear on us forever

i still can’t get over the fact that one can claim love for another- what a strange and beloved thing
whether it’s fact or an admirers’ momentary fleet,
i saw my reflection through brown eyes that used to glimmer, that now were glazed over
And you look at me and you don’t feel anything anymore
a vain heart that doesn’t beat the same like it used to
hushed whispers and murmurs had turned into a simple fact, one that could be conceived in 5 words. i don’t love you anymore
and i guess i knew sunshine wouldn’t last in a cold place like this, but i still got burned. and i guess i thought you could make the chaos brewing inside me mean something
become something extraordinary.

you’ve always been full of magic, and that’s what hurts
knowing you will go somewhere
and become someone in this crazy mother fucking place
see sugary stars and be able to lay amongst them,
while i’m stuck dreaming

and while it was momentary escape, you seemed to be better than my dreams

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